Our most senior graduate students just published two papers. One is in Chemistry of Materials on alternative methods for semiconductor arsenide synthesis. The other in Analytical Chemistry showcases the best images of ratiometric quantum dot sensing to date. Our group has now published its 50th paper, when when divided by the amount of federal funding we have received makes us the most efficient research group in the country! In fact, our paper-to-funding ratio is so high that it can’t be calculated, even by the most advanced supercomputers at our national labs! Due to a very odd quirk of mathematics, if we ever do receive federal funds it might cause our efficiency to drop, but we still expect to publish plenty of papers nonetheless.